So, I was already to phone Apple today. I thought I’d give the Support section one last hurrah, in case I missed something. I found a few new things to do, and tried them. It turns out that all I had to do was reset my PMU, and now they work. However, my USB key doesn’t. I think I am going to see about sending that one back. Anyways, just a simple update on the situation.
EDIT: I think I figured out what is going on. When I put my Data Traveller 2 in, it still didn’t work. But then, when I plugged my iPod into that same port right after, it didn’t work. I reset my PMU, and it works again. So I figure that my USB key is causing issues.